Losing Control

People submit to things that are out of their control all the time – inconvenient traffic patterns, rising gas prices, long lines at the grocery store, etc. And they complain about this stuff all the time. Because it really sucks, that lack of control.

But at least those things are external. And they have known causes. At least you can blame someone or something. At least they make sense.

There’s nothing that makes me feel more vulnerable than knowing that my body has failed me… is failing me. And will continue to do so for the rest of my life. And nobody really knows why.

I can’t control that. I never will.

My body is literally attacking itself, causing permanent damage, and I can’t keep up with it without putting my life in immediate danger.  But that’s the treatment – balancing that immediate danger with the risk of serious future health complications. I call it a risk, but for most, it’s inevitable.

A little over two years ago, I found out that I have type one diabetes and I know it sounds cliché, but that diagnosis changed everything. Everything I do now is a conscious decision, is planned, and is monitored. Everything is affected by this stupid disease.

So, for this photo narrative I’m going to focus on the daily aspects of having diabetes as well as the long term complications. I want to focus on what this lack of control means for my entire life – how it affects me now and how it will change my future. I’d like to pair some statistics or little tidbits of information about the health complications that affect diabetics with certain pictures.

I think, overall, I’d like for this narrative to show people what it’s like to lose control of the one thing that most people can depend on.

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About thehudsonbay

I'm Mallory. I made this blog for one of my classes, but have yet to blog on it. I like art and running and music.
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2 Responses to Losing Control

  1. cerrax says:

    Wow that sounds terrifying. This seems like it will be a very personal, but very powerful narrative.

  2. vonbearshark says:

    What a good project. May you soar high on the wings of a great and majestic Bearodactyl, and may he carry you to a land of righteousness and Full House re-runs.

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