I’m Pushing All In

There are a handful of people that actually know who I am. I suffer from depression and want to check out of Hotel Life. Now that number of people just got quite a bit larger.

The world might not be against me, but my world is against me. 

I am doing this narrative as an exposé on myself and the physical and emotional struggles of depression. Depression is different for everyone. I want to show you some things that I have gone through to get where I am today. I will show examples on how the effects of medications take their toll on me, how individuals change their view of me once they have the knowledge of my feelings and lack thereof, and how my life is a daily war of attrition to not give up on everything. 

I am shifting my focus onto this vulnerability project rather than be stagnant in my own feelings of vulnerability. I am not succumbing to the fear of uncertainty, but rather I am choosing to be open and share this process in a way that I haven’t done before in hopes that it will resonate with others who may be experiencing similar struggles.

 Vulnerability, to me, is sharing the actual truth of my mental and emotional experience to people I know, people I do not know and to people I will never meet. Vulnerability is giving the answers to the questions of what I look like, how I feel and how I think every day. Vulnerability, to me, is this project.

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About tukejake

Jake is a Mathematics Major at University of Pittsburgh with plans to become a teacher.
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One Response to I’m Pushing All In

  1. cerrax says:

    Don’t check out of Hotel Life yet! I heard they’re putting in a sauna next to the indoor pool soon! Anyway, hats off to you! Facing your true self (for better or for worse) is a scary thing, and I’m interested to see the world through your lens.

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